My Inner Goddesses Revenge
by andthencomes
Summary: Lizzy left the fat girl, the one who was always picked on, or was always just considered a friend. She returns to Charming as a whole new person, 80lbs lighter and a whole lot older and wiser. This time she's coming back for revenge. To everyone that ever underestimated her: Watch out. A tale of three lovers caught in a sick and twisted game. Who will come out alive?
1. Chapter 1

It was always the fat girl, the friend, the you have such a pretty face but…, you name it – I heard it. Between the name calling at school, the dateless nights I stayed at home with my brother and all of his hell bent friends who enjoyed nothing more than to pick fun at me, pretending I was sick on prom night just to get out of facing it alone and vulnerable with my fat arms out, being stood up by the one boy I truly loved, I knew something had to change.

And it did. When I left Charming for college I also left eighty pounds, my mousy brown hair and my under plucked eyebrows. My confidence grew tremendously over the next five years, along with my paycheck and my boobs (with the help of Dr. Monte). I now stand proudly, with my back up straight, and always eye level with my peers instead of pointed down to the floor.

I haven't been back to Charming in 1,974 days, not that I'm counting. But on day 1,975 that is exactly where I'm headed. It's taken a lot of thought and going back and forth but I'm confident that it is the right decision. When I got word that there was an RN opening at St. Thomas – that was the icing on the cake. I'm coming back for revenge.

Revenge against all the guys who were ever mean to me, the girls that treated me as if I was less of a person, that stupid motorcycle gang, and most importantly against Jax Teller – the love of my adolescents.

I know it sounds callous and you're all probably thinking, you're better than this, you've risen above, changed yourself for the better, have a career, etc., but that isn't what this is about and it isn't like I'm going to go on a killing spree. I'm just going to show them what they missed out on, what I could have been to them, kill them with kindness if I must put it into words.

At twenty three years old I reek of sex appeal, I've worked hard at my body not to. My face is lacquered in makeup; baby blue eyes lined perfectly, eyebrows on point, tan cheeks bronzed, plump lips glossed, breast pushed even further in a size small (yes I said it!) off white sleeveless crop top, 32DD bra built into the seam, an A-line black laced mini Skirt that hangs high on my slim hips. My legs are bronzed; feet pedicured in four inch peep toed strappy red heels.

I'm late to my own party - one my brother Opie and my 'aunt' Gemma insisted on throwing for me. I planned accordingly though, knowing today falls directly in line with Jackson's birthday. So really it's a party for both of us, had to burst his little bubble somehow and insure that he'd be at their dingy little clubhouse. Hate to break it to him though, tonight will be all about me - me teasing him, taunting him, reeling him in only to spit him out later. He's going to wish he never stood me up, left me waiting on my door stoop for six hours, ruining the makeup I worked so hard to apply and tearing down every dream I had of the two of us – all dressed up with nowhere to go. Looking back on it now he probably only asked me out of pity but nonetheless he still asked and he didn't show, I haven't seen him since. Even though I wasn't supposed to go off to school for another six weeks I left the next day for school in Washington.

I pull into the gates of Teller-Morrow, parking my Range Rover in the back. There's a flood of cars here, mostly for Jackson I'm assuming. I see my dad's motorcycle and can't help but sigh; it's been far too long since I've seen the old man. It's not like he hasn't tried to visit but every time he's tried I've been pulling doubles at the hospital in Washington. I briefly cross my arms over my chest, feeling a bit ashamed for a moment at my choice of clothing but shrug it off, thinking of the mindless crow eaters that are probably draped over the entire club's laps.

'Must play nice, must be confident, and must draw attention.' I think to myself, turning off the engine. When I step out of the car I almost lose my footing, my stomach drops. I take a moment to brace myself; I should have had a drink before I came. Liquid courage – that is what I need.

I silently curse myself but step forward, I feel eyes on me as I pass the smokers. They don't speak as I pass by them but I smile at the unfamiliar faces. I toss my wavy blonde locks over my shoulder, "Hi boys!" I wink playfully before one of them opens the door for me.

When I step inside I smell the familiar odor of musk, marijuana, sex and booze. I hold my head high as my eyes fall on a familiar figure. Even from behind I can tell my brother from a mile away, his hair is long, his shoulders slumped over the bar, and he sits deep in conversation. I can't decipher who else he's with but I don't waste time going over to him. I quietly creep behind him, my manicured hands peeking over his shoulders and on top of his eyes.

"Guess who?" I whisper, letting go. He practically jumps out of his seat to face me and the next thing I know I'm in his arms bracing him. He hugs me tightly, I feel my feet lift from the ground. "Hey, I'm not as cushiony as I once was, you're going to have to ease your grip ya doof!"

He pulls back from me but doesn't let go, "Where have you been you little shit?" His lips meet my forehead, not quite what I expected but I'll take it. "Five years not a single phone call! You had a brother worried sick! Not to mention you come back like this." He lets go of me and looks me over, Shaking his head he grunts angrily. "Go put on some clothes ya little prostitute." I shake my head at him but he doesn't stop talking, he must be buzzed. "How are you gonna come in here like that? Half the size of ya and half the clothes!"

"Give the girl a break." A voice interjects, Gemma. "Look at you, you little fine young thang!" She spins me around before taking me in her arms. I hug her back, returning the sentiment.

"Hey Mama!" I squeal, holding her tightly. Now, Gemma may not be my mother and she may not be perfect but through all of this she has been there for me. Even when I was in Washington, She called me every day. Even took me to get my new boobs. She's always been so good to me and thankfully never pushes the subject of her son on me. For this I love her so.

"Get this girl a round of shots!" She says letting go of me, I push my way towards the bar and allow a tall man with a Mohawk and lightning bolt tattoos, Juice, to pour me shots of Whiskey. He smiles at me from across the bar, cheersing me with a small wink. I can't stop myself from giggling before I take the shot.

"What's your name?" He asks as if he didn't already know, leaning over the bar. He pulls lightly at the end of my long blonde hair, wrapping it around his finger. "And what's a pretty little thang like you doing around this place?"

I put my hand over his, pulling it away from my hair and down onto the counter top. I drop it there but let my hand brush over it once more before reaching past him to grab the bottle of Jack. "Lizzy." I reply smugly, looking up at him with big eyes.

You see, I've actually known Juice for quite some time, not that anyone else in the club knows. In fact he encouraged me to come here and seek my revenge against Jackson, ever since he found out what happened between the two of us he's all for bringing Mr. Hot Shot down. Don't get me wrong, Juice is all about the club but from the moment he met me he's been putty in my hands. In fact, I'm staying with him until I find a place of my own. His apartment isn't huge but it'll do for now and sometimes its nice waking up to his fresh face in the morning. Now, before you go to judging Juice and I are strictly friends, okay – friends with benefits but nobody else needs to know that or even that Juicy boy and I know each other aside from the club.

From behind me I feel a hand on the small of my back, I jump slightly but try to keep my cool. "Don't even try it, Juicy. This is my daughter, well what is left of her anyways!" The familiar deep voice calls from behind me. I quickly let go of the bottle and turn around.

My arms immediately go around my father's middle, I hug him loosely, noticing how aged he's become. "Papa!" I scream, letting go of him.

"Elizabeth!" He says quietly, I notice he wears a breathing tube. "Didn't think I'd see you before I bit the bullet." He wheezes but stands tall, firm when he speaks to me.

I cross my arms over my chest, pouting my bottom lip. "I'm sorry, pap! I'm so sorry!" I wrap my arms around him once more, hugging him once more before backing up.

"Next time I see you I hope you're wearing more clothes, little one." His frown turns into a smile after a moment, "You look beautiful my little one, so healthy and pretty. You've always been so pretty, little one." He repeats, "But your pop has to head home now, I'm not feeling so good. You have a good night though, and you come see your old man tomorrow." He kisses my forehead lightly, "And don't you go talking to Juicy over there, that boys a trouble maker since the date I met him." He points at Juice, eyes narrowing. "I mean it boy, keep your hands off of my little girl!" And with that the little old man, who I call my father is gone.

I go back to the bar and have a few more shots, my eyes wondering around the room. I remain quiet as I take in all the familiar faces, they smile and wave and invite me to sit and have a drink with them but my eye is searching for the prize. Where is the beloved Jackson anyways?

Thirty minutes later, two more shots and a dose of courage later I spot him. He's looking as good as always, his cut hanging against his broad shoulders, a button up flannel underneath sleeves pushed up to his elbows, denim jeans that hug his hips in just the right way and clean white sneakers on his feet. He doesn't even notice me as the crow eater's giggle on at him. I try to remember how I was going to approach this, do I act coy? Should I show him just how angry I really am? I could just march right up to him and scream all the awful things I'm desperate to say. I take a deep breath and sigh, 'Get it together Lizzy, You have a plan! Reel him in girl! Make him beg for it.'

Inner goddess – Come out, come out wherever you are! Just in the nick of time too, he turns around finally facing me. I can tell by the expression on his face has hasn't changed. At least when it comes to a woman he finds attractive. I can feel his eyes on my legs, and then to my chest and finally up at my eyes. I take one more deep breath before smiling over at him. I offer him a small wave but don't go over to where he stands. He does a double take but when his smile turns into a grin I can tell he's noticed just exactly who I am. I take this moment to turn away from him, I make my way over to the cooler to grab a beer, making sure to shake my ass just a little more as I do so. I feel eyes on me, his eyes, the eyes of the other pervert's that are a part of this club but I ignore them. I bend over the cooler, keeping my knees straight, legs spread slightly as I grab a Bud Light. I make sure to dig deep, allowing him and whoever else to get a good look. After all, I did work hard for this ass.

Before I stand straight I feel a pair of hands on my hips, I pull away quickly and turn to face him. The face I've been waiting to see all these years, looking at me exactly how I wished he always would. My inner goddess is screaming – Yes! You're gonna regret this sucker!

The next thing I know my long legs are wrapped around his waist, hugging him tightly in front of everyone. I throw my head back, arching my back as his hands quickly move to brace me by my hips. I then take a moment to nuzzle my face into his neck, he still smells of the same cologne. I make sure to place my lips in the crook of his neck, not in a kissing way but enough to let him know that they're there.

I don't unwrap myself from him until I hear my brother grunting in the background, He doesn't say anything at first just takes me in. I feel my cheeks turning red as he looks me over once more, his hands still on my hips. His thumb rubs over my bare flesh. I shiver slightly against his touch, but try to stand tall next to him. He hasn't changed at all as far as looks go, his hair is long, tucked behind his ears, eyes still as blue as the ocean and cheeks still lightly scruffed. He has more tattoos than I can remember but he still stands tall and proud. When he finally speaks I find myself fighting from turning into mush, "Why didn't you return any of my calls?" He lets go of me briefly before taking my arm, practically dragging me out of the club house. Before we're outside he makes sure to grab the bottle of Jack I had been holding before and a couple of beers. I follow close behind him, my own beer in my hand. I take a large gulp of it, before settling down on the picnic table across the lot that he's dragged me to. We both take a seat on top of it, I cross my leg towards him, kicking it lightly back and forth.

"What do you mean return your calls, Jackie?" I mumble as he pulls out a cigarette, as he lights it I take it from him and place it in my own mouth. I attempt to puff on is seductively but I more likely than not resemble a bull instead. "Why did you stand me up?" I raise an eyebrow at him before reaching over him for the bottle of Jack. I take a sip before he pulls it away from me. He matches my move, taking a gulp of the dark liquor.

He takes a large puff of his cigarette before turning to face me, "Lizzy, I was 21. You were seventeen for fucks sake. Opie's my best friend and your father is like a second dad to me! What did you expect me to do? I was scared as fucking shit." He's firm when he speaks but offers a small smile. He puts his heavily ringed hand on my knee, "I'm sorry."

I feel my stomach turn but thanks to the alcohol I don't immediately respond, even as infuriated I am, I try and brush off the uneasiness that I'm feeling. 'He's just saying this because you're hot now.' I think to myself, 'Lizzy the loser, remember'.

"You look great by the way." He doesn't move his hand, just continues to stare at me as I sip on my beer. I remain quiet, taking deep drags of the stolen cigarette. "Not that you didn't before, Liz-" He stops himself, I can tell he's trying to think of the right thing to say. Just like everyone else who's seen me since I transformed into the 'goddess' version of myself.

"It's okay." I bravely move my hand so it rest on top of his for a moment, looking over I offer him a small smile. He grins over at me. I flick out the cigarette and drop the empty bottle past my feet. Leaning back I brace myself against the picnic table. I can feel his eyes on me, he turns so he's facing me but doesn't lean back, one leg crossed under the other.

"It's not okay, I was in love with my best friends little sister but I was a pussy and let you leave." He groans, eyes darting to the ground.

I can't believe what I'm hearing; the goddess in me is reminding me that he's only saying this to get into my pants. The inner insecure fatty is shining through at the moment and turning myself into putty. "You loved me?" I whispered quietly, leaning up on my elbows. He's looking at me with sad eyes, "Even though I was fat?"

"I always thought you were beautiful, you just didn't see it." He leans over, pushing a loose piece of hair behind my ear. When he puts his hand on my cheek I can't help but whimper, sure I've been out with guys since then. I've dated around but up until this moment I haven't once felt as much like goo as I do now. My heart races as he leans forward, my eyes squeeze shut as he presses his lips against mine. I don't respond at first but as my inner goddess smacks me out of it I quickly grab the back of his head and neck. I pull him on top of me, my legs spreading slightly for him to hover over me. Our tongues quickly meet - the taste of cigarettes and whiskey fresh on our breath. Out of any kiss I've ever received, this is by far the best. My hands are shaking as I try to brace myself; he hovers over me, hands on my hips, pushing me down onto the picnic table. I stifle a low moan as his lips leave mine, trailing down to my neck. He takes a deep breath, pulling me closer to him. His hands move down to the bottom of my skirt, he rests them on my bare thighs. Against what my body is telling me to the goddess is pulling me back, 'Only give him a taste whore bag.'

But drunk me doesn't listen, instead I push forward against him. My hands fall from underneath us, slamming him directly on top of me. Our kisses grow sloppier as the alcohol sets in, my hands reach underneath his cut and pull at the buttons, freeing his defined chest. Damn, has he grown into his body.

I feel one of his hands grabbing at the edge of my crop top, leaving goose bumps on my stomach. Somehow that snaps me out of the trance his lips have left me in. "Jackson stop." I mumble, attempting to unwrap myself from him.

He immediately retracts but remains hovered over me, "But why?" He questions, raising an eyebrow. He helps pull me up into a seated position before taking out his pack of cigarettes. We sit there smoking quietly for a few moments, I think of the right thing to say but it doesn't come.

And then the inner goddess appears, "Jackson, I'm a virgin." I lie, looking over at him. I pull the most sincere look I can muster. That bastard did always like virgins.

I can tell he's trying to hide the grin that he's got permanently plastered on his face, so I go on. "Jackson, I've been waiting all this time to give it to you." It must be the alcohol because even I'm convinced.

"R-r-really?" He stutters, "You're so sexy, how hasn't anyone swept you off of your feet?"

I giggle, reaching my hand over and onto his lap. I move my hand over onto his groin; I can feel how hard he is through his pants. I give it a quick squeeze before hopping off the picnic table. "I guess you're just going to have to do the sweeping."

And with that I'm gone, I make my way inside and find Juice, he's sitting at the bar looking sad. I take a seat next to him, "What's wrong, baby?" I whisper, my hand rests on his shoulder for a moment.

"Let's just get out of here." He says quietly, not looking me directly in the eye. I pull my hand away from him, he's drunk too. I can practically smell the tequila when he speaks.

"Okay." I stand and wait for him to follow, when he goes to walk it's more like a sway. When we're clear of the club house he begins to mumble. It isn't until five minutes later, a quarter of the way to his apartment that he begins speaking coherently.

"I saw the way you fucking kissed him, Lizzy." He trudges alongside me, kicking an invisible rock as he steps forward. "Why don't you kiss me like that?"

I raise an eyebrow, slumping his arm over my shoulder. I attempt to pave our way down the sidewalk but his hand falls lower down my back until he reaches my bottom, he squeezes firmly as we walk together in silence. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you, I saw you kiss him. I saw him fucking groping you." He's hissing at me as we walk, "Do you like that, huh?"

With his apartment just ahead I don't say anything, just reach for my keys. As I go to open the door I feel Juice hovering me; He slams the door closed with an open hand and pushes me against the wall. "Juicy, Baby. You knew why I was coming here. You said you were okay with it." He doesn't back up, instead braces his hands on either side of me. His lips are dangerously close to mine, he leans forward and kisses me hard. He bites down on my lower lip causing me to moan. I pull back after a moment, taking a deep breath when he kisses alongside my neck. His lips hit my collarbone, sucking gently on it. He's trying to bruise me. I push back at his shoulders and even though I want nothing more than for him to continue I pull myself away from him. "I'll take the couch tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

When I wake the next morning my back is stiff. I lay there briefly reliving the previous night's events. My heart quickly weighs heavy when I think of Juice. It didn't even occur to me that he might act this way. I inwardly sigh as I sit up; the sun hits me through the shades. When I stand I realize I've changed into one of Juice's work shirts, other than that I'm only clad in a pair of lacy panties. Looking around his apartment it appears much messier than I remember, as if things have been thrown around and discarded to the floor, the memories of our return flood back into my mind.

_"Would you cut it out already?" I say quietly, watching as he throws my bags around, shoveling my shit back into them. "You're acting like a crazy person. You said it yourself, Juice. You don't love me! We fuck, you hold me when I'm sad but so the fuck what? Get your act together; You agreed with this, even that it was funny and now you want me to leave? It's three in the morning!" I holler back at Juice._

_He doesn't respond, only shakes his head as he stomps around the living room. He throws things from shelf to shelf, drawer to drawer, before trudging his way towards the bathroom. I hear the sink cabinet slam shut followed by his bedroom door in the distance._

_He blares music loud and moments later when I go to check the door is locked, instead of pushing further I decide to settle on the couch, attempting for the next hour to fall asleep._

My bare feet hit the cold floor, the wood creaks as I make my way towards his bedroom door. When he doesn't answer and the door won't budge, I pull a bobby pin from my tangled hair. The music is a null sound now, the door lock pops free. I quietly open it and take a moment to stare. He is heaved over the side of his bed, arm dangling against the floor, a bottle of pills lying next to him.

"You fucking idiot." I say quietly, examining him first and then the bottle. His pulse is weak but it's there, lips blue, his breath short and unsteady. I try to smack him, shake him, but nothing works. Against my better judgment, I pick up his phone and dial 9-1-1.

Ten minutes later they arrive at his door step, I've put on a pair of skinny jeans and changed into a tank top, leaving him only temporarily. The medics don't even try talking to me, other than asking for the OxyContin pill vial.

Cursing myself for arguing with him last night I fall behind, opting not to arrive by ambulance with him but assure his unconscious body that I'll soon be on my way.

After they've left I attempt to fix myself: settling on a high pony tail, taking off my makeup and a pair of more practical flats for the walk back to TM.

My pace quickens as I head back, it is no picnic, my head hurts, it's too bright, and I feel my stomach drop when I reach the gates. I notice a huddle around the picnic table Jackson and I had so recently been lying on but choose to ignore those thoughts and the people confining it.

Hurried, I get into my car but when I go to turn it on there's a knock on my window.

Jackson. He looks as disgruntled as I feel. I take a deep breath, trying to focus on him for a moment rather than Juice. I fake a smile as I roll down the window, "Hey cutie."

"Hey Darling. What happened to you last night?" He replies quickly, giving me a sheepish smile but doesn't wait for my answer. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything." I force a giggle, focusing my eyes on his lips. I can't believe I was kissing those lips just a few hours ago or that Juice had watched. Ugh. This is all my fault.

"I need a ride to St. Thomas, my bike won't start and I'd rather not ride bitch on anybody else's." He smiles for a moment, "Something happened to one of my brothers, dumbass boozing and popping pills again." He shakes his head, "If you hang by me there for a lil while I'll be sure to make it up to you." He winks, coming around to the other side of my car.

I don't say anything, my hands gripping the steering wheel with a firm hold. "Yeah, sure. No problem." I say quietly, my stomach drops as I pull into drive. When I look over at Jackson he's staring intently at my neck.

"Damn. I'm sorry, Liz. I didn't mean to get so rough." he rubs one of his fingers against the spot; I feel anxiety withering inside of me. My mind wanders back to the night before, thoughts of Juice and of Jackson. My inner goddess is kicking me straight in the baby maker, what have I gotten myself into?

"I like it rough." I say, instantly wanting to cover my mouth but instead I force a smile.

The rest of the ride is silent; I barely even notice Jackson is there. When we arrive I try to remain calm but I want nothing more to run to Juice's bedside. Dr. Oswald, a doctor I don't quite recognize quickly goes over everything, explaining that while Juice is responsive to treatment and has had his stomach pumped his liver has temporarily shut down and hasn't woken up yet. A sigh of relief shoots through me, but I don't say anything. Jackson only nods, turning to me every few moments with a questioning look.

"If Juan..." For the first time Jackson addresses him by his real name, "Has been unconscious this entire time, who called an ambulance?"

Dr. Oswald replies, "From what I was told a woman called it in but when they arrived he was alone."

"Smart bitch, huh?" Jackson said shortly, running a hair through his damp hair.

The doctor ignored his comment, instead suggesting he go visit.

"Yeah, sure." He said quietly, pulling a pack of his cigarettes out. "I'll be back in a few, Doc." He turns to me, "Wanna come?" He says, waving his pack of cigarettes at me.

I offer him a small smile, "How about I go check on him for you?" He raises an eyebrow at me, "After all I am a nurse. Maybe I could see for myself."

Jackson smiles at me, leaning forward he places a small kiss on my temple. I feel my cheeks turn red but before he walks away I grab his hand, pulling him back to me. I kiss him firmly, my other hand taking a firm grip against the back of his head. He doesn't hesitate to kiss me back, biting my lip lightly. My inner goddess is shouting from the roof tops, you go girl!

I don't know why even at a time like this I chose to make a move but what's done is done and as I sit here by Juice's bed, my hand firmly holding his I can't help but wonder what kind of person I am. I bring his hand to my lips and speak softly, "I'm so sorry, you dumby." He remains still as I speak, I grasp his hand even tighter. "What were you thinking, you know I love you. Ugh." I look around the room, noticing when I look up at him that his eyes are open.

He offers me a small smile and tried to speak, but his words come out hoarse, "I'm sorry too." I stand, letting go of his hand and put my finger to his lips, hovering his bedside. My lips meet his forehead; I choose not to speak any further, not wanting to push another argument. I leave one of my hands on his cold cheek, standing there closely to him. After a moment he puts his hand over mine, we stare at each other quietly.

"Ahem." Comes from behind us, Shit. When I turn to see Jackson facing us I back up as quickly as I can, dropping my hand from his.

"Just checking the little guy's temperature." I fake a laugh, hoping he won't say anything.

Jackson laughs, which I take as a good sign. He walks over to me, draping an arm heavily over my shoulder. It takes everything in me not to jerk away from him, I feel Juice's eyes burning into mine but he doesn't say anything.

"Could you give us a minute, Darlin'?" Jackson finally speaks, dropping his arm from my shoulders, winking at me before ushering me out.

A few minutes later I'm face to face with him once again, he's resting his hands on my waist, pushing me back against my car door. My cheeks are burning red, I'm silently thankful for the poorly lit garage. His hands are tucked in the bottom of my shirt, lips dangerously close to my ear. "I am so fuckin' glad you're back."

My hands reach forward against his chest, pushing him away from me as I drag a finger from his chest to his covered naval. "You're so handsy." I wink at him.

"When I want something, I go for it." He looks quickly from my eyes to my lips, "And girl, I have wanted you far too long." He backs up slightly, looking me over fully. "Plus, you left a cute little girl and came back a mighty fine woman." he winks but continues, "You worked hard for this, you deserve to be admired."

Even my inner goddess agrees.

* * *

The next few days are a blur, Jackson insist I stay at his house and I don't protest even though he's been on a run the entire time. I visit Juice daily, he is getting stronger by the day but they're requiring him to stay throughout the week. When I visit he barely speaks to me, frowning and denying any physical contact.

On Sunday, my father asks that I pick him up, I bring him back to Jackson's which leaves him unsettled but the rest of the club is returning from god knows where to Jackson's house for a pool party/bbq. I spent a lot of the week at the gym, obsessing over showing the people who once referred to me as tubby, my nearly naked body by the pool and the fact that everything there is going to be to eat will be shamefully unhealthy.

Gemma arrives early, smacking Juice over the head for acting so foolish. For the most part I only hear the word crow eating pussy but as I change I can't help but shutter, I am not a crow eater but I chose to ignore them as I look over my choices of clothing.

When I rummage through my clothes I can't help but wonder when I am actually going to get a moment to talk to Juice but looking around I am only reminded that I am now, because of his idiotic move, staying in Jackson's house and there is no going back. I then wonder, tonight, will I be sleeping in the same bed as Jackson, will I be on his arm all day making Juice for horrible? I mean, after all Juice knew why I came here in the first place. I just hope he can keep it together. I don't actually care about Jackson, right? Even my inner goddess is wondering at this point.

I'm pulled at of my thoughts when I come across my favorite swim suit, it's a teal strappy bikini, with a twisted bandeau top that hugs my large chest snugly. As I quickly change into it I hear additional voices coming from down the hall, I quickly adjust myself, looking into the mirror. I sigh loudly, picking at my hips. While there's no visible fat I can tug at I still wish I was smaller. I don't wear much make up today, skipping out on the eyeliner and only wearing lip gloss and light waterproof mascara.

As I'm bending over to grab my white cover up dress I hear the door behind me open and a pair of hands quickly making their way around my hips, I instantly stand, wondering who it can be but before I can even say anything I'm being placed over the familiar shoulder of Jackson Teller.

"Put me down!" I squeal loudly, patting his back violently. "Jax!"

"Hiya, Darlin'." He pats my bottom lightly as he carries me down the hall way and out the door. I hear the laughter of others as he makes his way outside hit I'm too busy smacking his cut to notice.

"I said put me down!" I'm screaming now, flailing my arms helplessly.

"If I must." He chuckles before pushing me out of his arms and into the deep end of his pool.

When I resurface I can't help but notice Jackson beaming down at me. I notice he has discarded his cut and his shirt, only standing clad in his jeans and white sneaker. He leans over the edge, offering me a hand but rather than taking it I pull both of my arms over his extended hand and pull him in next to me. There's a big splash and for a moment I can't see him but before long he has me pinned against the wall, arms on either side of me, grabbing my legs to wrap around him as if nobody else is there.

"Now, that wasn't very nice." I exclaim, poking him in the nose, with a light attempt to free myself from him.

"Coulda just told me you wanted me to come in, rather than destroying my brand new shoes." By his tone I can tell he isn't upset but when he finally frees me I take the moment to get out of the pool, my father stands by the edge, towel in hand, instantly shielding it over me to cover me.

"Papa!" I exclaim, wrapping my wet arms around him.

"Why don't you go put some clothes on my dear and let your old man have a talk with that little hellion?" He wheezes as he speaks, but keeps a firm smile, kissing my forehead.

I drag a wet hand over my face, pushing my hair behind my ears and venture back towards the door. I allow myself a few minutes of drying, preferring not to have to clean up that mess later and observe the visitors. My eyes wonder to Juice, the one person I wouldn't mind spending the afternoon with.

It isn't until night fall that I can locate him; I spend most of the time checking up on my father's health and learning of Opie's most recent sexcapades. Barf. Jackson stays near but is easily consumed by the attention of others, now only in a pair of black swim trunks.

When I find Juice he is sitting alone, nursing a 40oz beer, halfway full. He's fully dressed and wears his emotions on his young face. I take a seat next to him, offering him a cigarette from my dress pocket. He doesn't smile but takes it from me, not even bothering to look me in the eye. A few moments later he still hasn't spoken but I choose not to push him.

When I put my cigarette out I reach over to him momentarily, placing my hand over his visibly shaking one. He instantly pulls it away from me, shooting me an angry glare, "Cut the shit, Liz."

I try not to show the hurt on my face but I frown lightly, my eyes go to his. "What?" is all I can muster.

"You fuckin' heard me." He pauses for a moment, "Call me when you're done with these fucking games." He motions to Jackson before standing up, dropping his forty on the concrete. "Whoops." he says as it shatters, giving me a small wink. "Since you're his bitch now that must be your duty." He points to the ground before walking off and out Jackson's back gate. Once I've cleaned it up I quietly excuse myself, letting everyone that crosses my path know that I brought up his drug problem and it set him off, I made sure to repeat to Jackson that I was just trying to help.

* * *

When I'm in the kitchen hours later, drunk off margaritas, Jackson walks in. He has just shown the last guest out and as he tosses the bag to the side I feel his blood shot eyes on me, "I like you here." He whispers, standing behind me at the sink. He puts his hands over my arms, causing me to drop the small bowl I've been scrubbing at. I feel my skin tingle against his fingers but choose to impress my inner goddess and even myself by backing my bottom into his groin. He's still shirtless; his hands ride up my short beach cover up, pressing against my hips, squeezing gently. He pushes my hair to the side, planting small kisses against my shoulder.

"I have an idea, follow me." I suggest, wiggling out of his touch. I don't wait for a response, my inner goddess taking control of me. I walk slowly towards the sliding glass door, pulling my cover up over and off of my body, throwing it back at him and before he can even say anything else I unclip my top, discarding it by the door. I walk freely away from him, giving my ass a little shake as I reach the concrete.

As I get closer to the pools edge I dip my hands into the sides of my bottoms, pulling them slowly down to my ankles, I can hear his pace quickening behind me I can almost feel him against me but I choose to ignore him, thankful for how dark it is outside now, other than the moonlights reflection.

"What are you doing?" He calls back to me, I hear his swim trunks fall against the concrete but don't look back, dipping my feet into the water.

"Swimming." I say quietly, barely over a whisper as I submerge myself into the water up to my neck. My nipples grow hard against the cold water but I just go further. "Let's play a little game." I chuckle lightly looking forward at him now, drunk on margaritas and off of him. He's only waist deep in the water but even still a blush hits my cheeks, I move forward towards him, exposing my chest to him as the water shallows.

"What kind of game?" he asks, eyes set firmly on my breast. He moves towards me, hands looking to touch me but I back away.

"Truth or dare." I say simply, adding "I'll go first." I step forward once again, swimming around him so I'm facing his back, I lean close to his ear. "Truth or dare."

"Truth." he says quietly, not turning to face me. I'm so close to him, my nipples graze his back.

"Why did you really stand me up?" I linger next to his ear, my hands pushing him away from me in an instant.

He faces me now, crossing his arms over his chest. His smile quickly turns to a frown, "I told you I was scared. Opie's my best friend, my brother. My brotherhood is very important to me. I could have gotten locked up if I had my way with you."

I pout, unhappy with his answer but curious as to what exactly he would have done with me. That scenario often plays in my head.

"Truth or dare."

"Dare." I say, backing away from him back towards the deeper end.

He puts his finger to his mouth and comes towards me, tapping his chin. "I dare you to tell me what you're really thinking right now."

"Lame!" I laugh, splashing water onto him. "I'm thinking about what a lame ass dare that was." I shake my head, "But if you must know I am thinking about how if things were different what would have played out."

He smiles at me, swimming over to me. "We would probably still be right here, right where we are right now but you'd be my old lady."

"Fat chance." I snort out, before thinking. When he laughs I know I'm safe. "Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me." I say quietly, pushing forward towards him. When he reaches forward, he wraps his arms around my center, hugging me closely, even though we are naked, I feel every part of him against my wet skin and try to ignore his hard on pressed against my bare waxed center. When he goes to kiss my lips, I stop him pressing one of my fingers to his mouth, "Not there, silly." I'm silently thanking my inner goddess and bottle of patron, "Down there." I giggle up at him, trying to remember that I'm a "virgin'. Before I can say anything else, I'm swooped up into Jackson's arms and sat down on the edge of the pool; Jackson stands eye level with me.

"Are you sure, Darlin'?" He pulls a smug smile, placing his hands on me knees firmly. I force my legs open for him to see my cunt, freshly waxed. His jaw drops, hands moving forward to my thighs.

"Positive, Jax." I wink, placing my hand underneath his chin leaning forward, my breast falling directly into his eyesight. "Bet you weren't expecting this." I giggle again.

Before I can say anything else he is kneeling down in front of me, placing firm kisses on my thighs before falling directly into my pussy, focusing directly on my clit. I lean back, elbows bracing me as my hands cover my breast. I don't think of anything else, other than how much I fantasized about this as a younger woman. I moan quietly, legs shaking slightly as he runs a finger against my slit, he moves slowly before inserting it, taking his time waiting for my body to adjust.

"Am I hurting you at all?" He stops touching me, backing up slightly to look up at me.

I free one of my hands, moving it down to his head. I take a moment to cherish how beautiful he truly is. "No, Jax. Just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I've lived under a rock." I giggle as he smirks, trying to hid the fact that I'm a rotten liar. He practically drives back into my pussy. When I feel myself coming close, he digs another finger into me, tongue tracing circles on my clit. My thighs begin to convulse again but he stops, quickly picking me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His cock is dangerously close to my entrance, I'm panting. "Please." He pushes me against the wall, hiking my leg up further, kissing my lips with feverish desire and slowly enters me. I'm silently hoping my kegels have worked. My inner goddess nudges me as a reminder and I quickly sigh out of mock discomfort. His face twist into a frown but I quickly go back to kissing him, my back arching. I press my chest to his, moaning quietly into his mouth.

He presses his forehead to mine, freeing my lips to loudly sigh. "It feels so good." I whisper.

"So fucking tight." he responds, "You're so beautiful and your pussy is all mine." He moves faster now, causing me to shudder against him. I'm practically panting when he moves his lips to my neck; he speaks ever so often into my ear, breathing heavily. "Promise me you'll only ever be mine."

"Only yours." I say quietly, glad he can't see the amount of horror stricken to my face. Inside I'm cringing but the alcohol allows me to almost instantly forget what was just said even though the goddess inside of me is both smacking me and high fiving my trifling ass.

His breathing becomes more shallow, one of his hands moving to my slit, he fucks me harder, quicker, then slowing until I feel myself coming back to the edge, I kiss him feverishly, his hand moves from my pussy to my breast, squeezing gently and just as I'm about to cum he tightens his grip around me, pounding my pussy in just the right spot. I moan loudly, my thighs shaking around him.

He looks at me with sexy eyes and speeds up, groaning quietly as he pounds me harder; finally reaching his own brink I tighten the grip around him, both us on the brink of orgasm. He looks at me once more before closing the space, kissing me hard as we both comez. He moves in me a few more times, his load mixing with mine. I tip my head back, riding out the most intense orgasm of my life. I feel like I'm seeing stars when he pulls out of me.

* * *

The rest of the evening is a blur; we somehow end up naked, tangled in his sheets. When I wake up I wince, head throbbing against the pillow. Jax stirs but doesn't wake, turning away from me in his sleep. I slip out of his bed, grabbing a discarded SAMCRO T-shirt. I put it on quickly along with a pair of booty shorts, ones that I usually only sleep alone in or with Juice.

Juice. Just the thought of him brings me near tears but the pounding of my head and the slight knock I hear coming down the hall way draws me back to my senses.

When I reach the front door, I peep through the hole and find just who I was thinking of. I open it quickly, throwing my arms around him without a second thought. I half expect him to throw me off of him, but instead he kisses my hair. "I missed you, Juicy." I instantly feel shame, even though my goddess reminds me I shouldn't.

"I'm sorry." is all he says but doesn't move to let go of me, just holds me closer. I'm sure this must be a sight to see and if I heard of anyone else in this predicament I would smack them for being so stupid.

"We need to talk." I whisper, "Give me a minute to get ready, I'll meet you outside and you can take me for a ride." I smile, letting go of him.

I turn on my heels, closing the door behind me. Jackson is still sleeping in his room so I quickly grab a change of clothes, a simple green skater dress, fresh bra and a pair of panties, opting for a pair of nude heels - which I know drive Juice crazy and after a few minutes in the bathroom, teeth brushing, hair taming, face and body cleansing I'm good to go. Also, Excedrin. That should help this pounding ache my body and mind are experiencing.

I jot down a quick note to Jackson, saying I had to go to fill out paper work at St. Thomas xoxo.

On the way out I make sure I am quiet. I grab my purse and keys and go out after Juice. I follow him in my car, expecting to head towards his apartment but instead we end up at the park, when we arrive he doesn't say anything only has a seat on the bench. I stand there for a moment before he pats his lap. Instead I sit next to him, crossing one leg over the other.

"I know this is so wrong." I say quietly after a moment. "But this is what I came here for."

"What about me? About us?" He doesn't look at my face, instead focuses on my tapping heel; He puts his hand on my calf and sighs, sliding it up to my thigh. "Don't you love me?"

"Juice, I do love you." I can't believe I let the words slip out but I try ignore the grumbling my stomach makes, "But it isn't that simple. I realize now that this is wrong but I've already started this and I can't just stop what I have going on with Jackson."

"Why not? Just tell him the truth."

"You don't understand, I have history with this club. Jackson and my brother are best friends; My father is a big part of SAMCRO. I didn't think this over; I can't fuck this up for my dumb mistake. I'm just going to have to play whatever this is with Jackson out and then maybe we can be together after it blows over. He cannot find out about what I did, we have to be smart. Especially you, if you want to live to see tomorrow and your future in SAMCRO. Maybe Jax will be tired of me from the get go, maybe it'll be easy."

"So you're saying, after this blows over we can really be together." His eyes gleam with hope, "Like everyone will know?"

"I'm saying if we don't blow this I'll go wherever you want to go, do whatever you want to do. If that's in Charming then that's where I'll be." He looks at me for a moment, pressing his hand harder on my thigh. I now turn to him, bracing one of my hands against his cheek, trying to convince both him and myself that this is possible.

"If you can promise me that I can promise you I'll back off, let you do whatever it is that needs to be done." He removes his hand from my thigh and places it over the hand I have on his cheek, "But he'd be a fool to let you go."

"I'll be miserably annoying, I'll do whatever it is to drive him away, I swear. I'll flirt with you and everyone in SAMCRO if I have to. I'll overreact and be crazy if that's what it takes. you just have to promise me no more pills. No more crazy jealousy." I sigh, watching his facial expression.

"No drugs, the jealousy thing I'll try my best."

In my heart I know this might not work and that I am indeed playing the both of them to get my way, my inner goddess/demon is laughing but I try to rationalize it all. I just hope I don't hurt Juice, and that I can effectively hurt Jackson without hurting anyone else in the process.

What in the world have I gotten myself into?

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

"Wake up." I whine, straddling Jackson's hips. It's 7:30 on a Monday morning and it's time for him to get up. I laugh inwardly, knowing he doesn't have work today and that he only fell asleep three hours ago. "Jacky!" I smack his chest, causing him to stir. **This annoying thing is easier than I thought. **I'm supposed to meet Juice for breakfast in an hour so I better make this quick.

"Lizzy." He grumbles, attempting to pull the covers over his bare chest.

"Wake up!" I say louder, smacking gently at his chest.

"Get naked." He smiles, eyes still closed.

"I am naked." I lie, looking down at my track shorts and tank top.

"Liar." He moves his hands to my hips, attempting to push me off of him. His hands go underneath my tank top, rubbing my sides.

"Wake up! I wanna go for a run!"

"Then go for a run." His eyes are open now; he stares up at me sleepily.

"I want you to come with me!" I say in a higher than normal voice.

"Give me a couple of hours and I'll smoke you on the track!" He's grinning now; he pushes me off of him and turns me onto my back. He hovers over me, hands attempting to sneak in the bottom of my shorts.

"Stop it!" I say, smacking his hands away. "I'm still a little tender down there." I feel myself blushing as I lie, perfect.

He smiles down at me before attaching his lips to my neck, kissing it lightly. The hairs on his chin tickle my neck, I giggle loudly. The whore in me is tempted to wrap my legs around his waist and rock his world but I'm still trying to play the whole inexperienced card and honestly, I really just want to go spend time with Juice.

"I can make you feel better, baby." He whispers quietly, hands moving upwards to my breast as he kisses along my neck line. "You can work out right here in bed." He continues to kiss up to my ear, taking it into his mouth he sucks lightly. "And then we can go get some breakfast." His hands move to push my top over my head, my bralette exposing itself, "Not exactly work out worthy, eh?" Shit.

"Can't a girl just wanna look sexy for her man?" I chuckle, inwardly rolling my eyes at myself. It was for Juice to see, not you!

Take over at any moment Inner Goddess!

"You don't have to try, girl." He groans, freeing me from my bra. He kisses each breast softly, massaging them gently with his hands. Juice is going to kill me if I'm late. "So, I'm your man now?" He backs up for a moment, looking down at me. He has a devilish grin on his face.

"Well, I thought that's what you meant the other night." I turn my head so I'm looking at the clock, 8:06. Shit.

"Oh, it is Darlin'. You're all mine now." His hands move down to my thighs, he pulls them up and around him, playfully grinding into my groin.

"All yours, baby." I lie, smiling up at him. The whole point of this was to annoy him, not to turn him on!

"Let me take what's mine then." It almost comes out as a demand, he grins down at me as his hands sneak under my shorts, he pulls them down with such easy swagger, he must have pulled this move many a time.

When I go to pull my panties down he smacks my hands, "Leave them." He orders, pushing the lace to the side. He examines my mound, which by now is dripping in excitement. **Juice is going to kill me. **

I look towards his hips, his cock growing long in his boxers. I move my legs back around his waist, pushing his boxers down with my thighs. "Fuck me." I whisper, my hands moving up to my breast. I cup them gently as he grabs his own cock, taking his time to tease me. He smacks it against my clit again and again, tormenting me. I turn my head again towards the clock, **8:32** shit. I try to ignore the tinge of guilt as he shoves his cock inside of me.

He wraps his hands around my neck lightly, kissing me as he sinks deeper inside of me. I can hear my phone ringing from across the room, "Maybe I should get that." I mumble, trying to suppress a moan.

"No, you should ride me." He flips me so I'm on top of him, at first I grind gently against his cock, acting as if I'm just getting the hang of it. I try to ignore the fact that my phone is consistently buzzing, I moan again. He stares up at me, smacking my breast with his hand. He leans up, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I moan again, this time louder. I feel myself close to cumming but I try to hold back, slowing my pace down. He pulls back, pushing my chest gently so I'm sitting upright. I moved my hands so I'm bracing myself on the bed, grinding slowly down on his cock, I twerk my ass slightly on him. I slowly pull myself off of him until he's almost completely out of me and then push myself down quickly, he squirms when I do this.

When I look down at him, he's grinning at me. One of his hands has gone behind his head and the other moves to my clit again. He rubs it gently, tapping at it as I bounce. I feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head, orgasm falling over me. **God, he's a rock star in bed. **

Jackson quickly flips us again, this time so I'm on my hands and knees, his hand moves to my ass, spanking it lightly as he digs into my pussy. His other hand grabs my breast, then my neck and finally he puts a finger in my mouth, I turn my head so I'm staring at him, sucking gingerly on his finger.

"Fuck." He groans, thrusting against me. I feel him release himself in my pussy, he bends over me, resting his head on my back. When he kisses down my spine I shudder, I suddenly hear a knock on the door from the distance. My phone is still ringing, **ugh.**

"God damn it." Jackson says withdrawing from me, "Who the fuck is at the door at 9:00?!" He quickly gets up, putting on his boxers. He moves to his closet, grabbing a pair of basketball shorts and putting them on. "I'll be right back, baby." He spanks me as I stand, I move to get dressed as he exits. It's probably his mom or something; I'll take that as my exit.

I take my clothes with me to the bathroom, after cleaning up I get redressed and move towards my phone. Eight missed calls. Fuck. They're all from Juice. As I make my way down the hall I call to Jackson, "Hey! My dad's been calling me, I gotta go meet him… something's up!" I lie before coming face to face with Jackson and Juice. **Double shit.**

"Oh hey, Juice!" I say, blushing brightly at him. I'm suddenly very embarrassed.  
"Hey." He says quietly, looking from me to Jackson. "Smells like ya'll have been having fun." He jokes, but I know inside he's cringing.

"Oh, Ya know…" I say quietly, "I'll be back later, Jax. See ya, Juice." I give him a small smile, hoping he'll forgive me. I go to hug Jackson as I leave but he pulls me into a full blown kiss. I feel my cheeks lighting up like fire engines. I know this must hurt Juice. **Ugh.**

I practically sprint to my car, when I sit I rest my head against the steering wheel. I wait to text Juice, not knowing why he would show up at Jackson's house or what he was saying to him now.

Fuck.

Double fuck.

Inner Goddess what do I do?!

I sit outside of Juice's apartment, patiently waiting for him to return home. I hear a quiet roar of an engine coming down the street. **Phew. **

When he pulls up he doesn't smile at me, just continues to walk to the front door. He doesn't wave or say hello. **Fuck.**

"Hey baby." I say quietly, following after him.

"Don't baby me, I could practically smell your pussy on him." He turns to look at me for a moment before jamming his key into the door.

"Look, I'm trying." I whisper, following closely behind, afraid he'd lock my out. I gently grab his arm, pulling him to look at me.

"Well, try harder. It took everything in me when I went over there not to fucking kill him." He groans, looking down at me.

I slowly snake my arms around his middle, my head resting there for a moment. He's practically shaking when he puts his arms around me. "I'm just so fucking mad. You're mine."

"I know, baby. I know." I whisper, rubbing his back. "But I'm not your property and you can't just show up when I'm late."

"You can't just go fucking him, Lizzy. Only I'm supposed to do that." His shoulders tense, I try to calm him with my hands but he pushes me away.

"I promise, Juice. I'll try harder. Club house, tonight? I'll get drunk, 'slut it up'. He won't like that and you know it, I just have to wait 'til my dad leaves. Ope went out of town for something so I don't have to worry about him causing a scene. I just need you to behave yourself. I promise tonight I'm all yours." I whisper, looking up at him.

"Your mouth is mine." He says abruptly. "I don't want him sticking anything in there." He puts a finger to my lips, "Your pussy is mine too." He cups my groin with his hand. I suddenly feel like a whore.

"I'm yours." I whimper, jutting my bottom lip out.

"Don't do that." He says, bringing his finger to my lips. "Suck." He instructs, pushing his finger into my mouth. When I don't open fully he speaks again, "I said suck." This time I open my mouth fully, taking not one but two of his fingers in my mouth. "Take off your clothes." I do as I'm told, quickly yanking my tank top off. "Slowly." He stops me; pulling his hand away from my mouth he moves them to my hips.

I slowly unhook my bra, taking one hand to push him away from me. I pull it off completely, throwing it at him. He catches it, sitting it gently down on the couch. "Now your shorts." He instructs, I pull them down slowly, turning around as they reach my ankles. I feel him coming closer to me; he barely grazes me with his jeans. I can tell he's hard but I continue, I pull my panties down now, letting them fall from my knees to my ankles. "Bend over the side of the couch." He demands, this time speaking louder.

"Juice, what are you doing?" I ask him, turning around to face him.

"Just a little punishment for earlier, don't worry it will only hurt you this time." I frown, but do as I'm told bending over the side of the couch. I feel his hand pull back and before I know it he's spanking me. First, he spanks me lightly which causes me to moan and then it gets harder. I feel tears threatening to fall but I do everything I can to stop them. He moves his hand down so he's smacking my pussy now, causing me to moan once again. This time he shoves two fingers into my pussy, I'm practically screaming as he finger fucks me. "You like that, huh?" He grabs my hair with his free hand, pulling it gently as he fingers me harder. I'm on the verge of cumming when he pulls his fingers out of me, "Oh, no no no. No you don't." He says, I hear him unzipping his pants. In an instant he plunges inside of me. "This is for me, not for you missy." He pounds me frantically, not stopping until he cums. He thrust once more, "You're not to clean yourself until tonight." He orders, pulling out of me. I sigh loudly, but he continues. "If you want to play this game you've got going on, you'll play mine too." I turn around, naked and exposed to him as he zips up his pants.


End file.
